My daughter and I have this super terrifying video game she wants to play. I'm going through it with her/for her, and most of it hasn't been too scary to this point. You reach a point in the game where it gives you a weapon, and suddenly the themes of dread, terror, and fear from the game become my own and I'm frozen. The music picks up, I'm supposed to fight now. But I can't. I just squeeze my eyes shut and tell my daughter not to look. Jumpscares and attacks occur, and they're piercing through my body. I'm asking her to turn it off. It's like the game becomes first person instead of playing it on a device. She sees some super scary images, I feel terrible. We have it paused mid attack. She desperately wants to see the ending. We are sitting in my childhood home, it's an unfamiliar room but I know it's the old trailer, and also a different trailer my daughter grew up in. My husband is in the house, he isn't sure we should keep playing. I decide I'll try again, but it takes me totally into the game. It's first person and there I am standing with this little tiny knife, and this scary looking cartoon guy distorting himself to come after me. I cry and beg for the game to be paused, I can't do it, the scary sounds and slashes hurting me. It's like I'm groggy and can't see straight, I keep trying to just keep my eyes closed and run but I can't run either. I go to attack the thing, but I'm paralyzed by fear and can't swing my arm to cut it with a knife. It distorts itself again and seems to mock me. A worse enemy is coming I can feel it. I say "fuck it!" And a gun appears in my hand. I shoot the monster and it runs from me, leading me to a basement. I keep shooting, and suddenly I'm fast, strong, and going to kill that little fucker. He disappears into a vent and I start checking rooms. Nothing and nobody. Suddenly an end of game thing starts going, where you've become a part of the hive mind. I blink, and exit the first person point of view. My daughter is happy that I finished it. I wonder what possessed us to get such a scary game. The load screen is still up on the TV, I'm trying to close it out and delete it, I feel afraid after the experience. I accidentally start another new load, and again I'm thrown into first person. I have more confidence now, and I give chase to the enemy right away before it starts attacking. I'm shooting at it, jumping stairs to fill him with bullets faster. He leads me to the basement again. He disappears into the vent, and I start checking rooms like I did last time, but no end of game stuff starts happening. I have to explore the dark rooms, and I just know it's too much for now. I close my eyes and try to exit the game, I'm calling out to my husband. I hear a dryer start. He doesn't respond. I think "that's weird", my voice feels quiet. I try again but louder, and wake myself from the dream completely.
This dream is rich in symbolism and reflects a complex emotional landscape that might be connected to both your personal experiences and your relationship with your daughter. Let's break down some of the key elements and themes:
Super Terrifying Video Game: The game you are playing can symbolize real-life challenges or fears, particularly those related to parenting, responsibility, and protective instincts. The terror that arises in the game may represent anxiety about facing larger issues in your life or your daughter's life.
Fear and Paralysis: Your initial reaction of freezing and wanting to hide from the horror highlights feelings of vulnerability and fear of not being able to protect your daughter or confront a specific challenge. This can resonate with the fear many parents have when faced with the struggles and dangers that their children might encounter.
Childhood Home and Familiar Spaces: The setting of your childhood home, blended with your daughter’s experiences, suggests a connection between past trauma or unresolved issues and your current parenting role. It might indicate that old fears or memories are resurfacing while you navigate the challenges of raising your daughter.
The Shift from Control to Fear: Moving from a third-person observation to a first-person perspective in the game may symbolize the transition from watching over your daughter to directly experiencing her fears—perhaps reflecting your struggle to be there for her without being overwhelmed.
Transformation and Empowerment: When you finally gain the confidence to fight back (e.g., acquiring a gun) it represents a reclaiming of power. This shift suggests growth and resilience, illustrating that while you may initially feel powerless, you are capable of overcoming challenges when you find your strength.
End of Game and Hive Mind: The notion of becoming part of a “hive mind” might symbolize a fear of losing individuality or surrendering to collective anxieties, possibly in relation to the pressures of parenting or societal expectations around child-rearing.
Repetition and Reliving Fear: The cycle of starting a new load suggests that this struggle is ongoing, perhaps indicating fears that resurface over time or challenges that you feel are not fully resolved.
Final Moments and Waking Up: The end of the dream, where you call out for your husband and hear the dryer, could represent the struggle to communicate your needs or fears. It might also suggest a yearning for support from your partner in dealing with challenges.
Overall, this dream combines elements of fear, protection, empowerment, and struggles with change. It may reflect your anxieties about parenting, the past’s influence on your present, and ultimately, your ability to face fears and emerge stronger. Consider reflecting on any current challenges in your life or your daughter's life, as well as the need for support and communication with your family.